So I am in the bath sitting there looking at my naked belly and there's this weird thing that you know how you look down on your body and it looks larger than it is. The "rolls" looked massive to me and I am thinking how did I get to this and why won't it just go away? I agree with myself to spend a few minutes in the mirror before I get dressed. I pulled the wardrobe mirror out of my guest bedroom, propped it down on the floor against the wall outside the bathroom (I'm too lazy to close the blinds, I'd rather take down the mirror!).
My reaction is more pleasant this time. I am not as large as I perceive in the bath. That makes me feel better because for me in my job, I need to be in good physical shape. Unfortunately, my job is very stressful and has caused a 7 lb weight gain over the last year. I work out most days and I've been pretty smitten with running right now. Five miles at a time is my workout of choice.
I'm thinking about what I want for my future and I do think that I want to be in a relationship eventually here but right now I have too many things in the air to fully give it the appropriate attention. Regardless, I want to be dilated and not have to think about that. It's just one more thing that haunts me when I start dating. It's not the drive to have sex, it's not having the option to do it very comfortably that's most disturbing. I do tend to explain the MRKH stuff before sex and I am very slow to move to that level of physicality.
Britney Spears "Work Bitch" is the song for tonight. My neighbor tells me that it reminds him of me, the words, not Britney.
