Wednesday, March 21

Spring is in the air

...flowers everywhere!

I'm feeling a bit lonely these days.  I'm trying to work the law of attraction for a new relationship.  It's the way I have gotten new jobs.  Since I posted last time, I was promoted and now am doing work that I feel better suits my background.  I'm super excited.

But I'm plagued I think sometimes...I look at the relationship side of life and I struggle.  Professionally, I would say I've got my stuff together, but personally I could use some help.

I don't have many local girlfriends...none who are my age.  I swear that most every girl I know who is my age does not want to hang out because they are in a relationship, married, or married with kids.  It's a quandry because I miss that girl time.  I have lots of girlfriends who live in other states, and I talk to many often, but they don't have the ability to meet me somewhere to do something girly.

I'm still working on the sexuality piece.  I don't know when that is going to get easy.  I just don't know how I would communicate with a guy what is truly in my head; from the insecurities to the obscure fantasy.  It does make me feel alone, but I know deep down with the right person it will feel right and be easier.

Speaking of sex...I am also making a broad generalization that many men in their 30's are not looking for relationships, just FTF (friends that F@@@).  I have had at least three of those in the last year.  I don't project myself in that manner (I think you can get that from what I write) but I seem to bring those losers to me.  I've paid a big emotional price for my sexuality, and I'm not giving it away.