I can say that babies are a difficult subject for me. The only babies that I have easily accepted are those of my sister. I think that deep down there is some resentment toward those that can have families. Again, for me, it's the lack of choice beyond anything else.
Babies having babies
When teens have babies I find that one of the most difficult things to deal with emotionally. I don't understand why this is possible. I'm not saying that these girls are bad moms, but seriously, they are not ready, they are kids themselves. In high school, several of my classmates had babies. At the time, I avoided them after the baby. Recently, I thought about this and I know it was because of my own internal struggles. If I could now, I would like to tell them that I really did like them, but I had my own struggles in that way.
All of that being said, I have a sick addiction to MTV's Teen Mom series. I don't get it. When I was a teen, I remember all of those talk shows about wild teens, and how they wanted to get pregnant to have love in their lives. I have to recognize the sad shows of Maury Povich that have been going on for years about how we need to determine the paternity of the baby. Seriously, that's just plain ridiculous. How can we be so irresponsible with our sexuality?
Baby showers
I remember one of my first invitations to a baby shower. It was from one of my good friends and neighbors. I couldn't go.
I remember sitting in my home that day, while my mom was at the shower. I wanted to be there in some way, but I was not able to go. I didn't want to be there.
That feeling persists with baby showers. It's a feeling that is getting easier to cope with, but when single people go to those things, inevitable "when you have kids" or a great question about who I am or am not dating at the time.
Babies in general
As I have gotten older, having babies around doesn't bother me. I am a bit of an introvert, so sometimes the noise and chaos starts to bother me. I think that's normal, MRKH or not!
When I have looked at the many wonderful girls with their stories on youtube.com about how they yearn for a baby, my heart goes out to them. We all struggle in our own ways, on our own time.
I am 29 and also have MRKH...Your mention of baby showers resonated with me. Only my mom is truly aware of my MRKH condition. Other people in my family know of my infertility and amenorrhea, but don't know that there is an actual condition involved. I have told a few close friends that I have always been amenorrhea and that I am unable to carry children. I will never forget the day when I hosted the baby shower for my sister-in-law and, after opening presents, one of my close friends looked at me and said, "so, if someone was to carry a baby for you, who would the shower be for? Her or you?". I knew then and I know now that she didn't mean any harm, but that was one of those heart wrenching moments that really made me feel like MRKH was defining me, when I had always tried to keep it in the background of who I am.
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