Sexuality

This is one of the more challenging issues in my opinion for girls with MRKH.  The opinions expressed here are my own, and I welcome your thoughts.  Drop me a line at mrkhlife@gmail.com

I still struggle with this issue, and my thoughts have been evolving here over time.

When I was in my later teens, early 20’s, I really felt that marriage would be my relief.  I would not have to worry about telling guys anymore (and worry about their desire to have biological children), dilation, let go of all of those challenging feelings, and just be able to live with someone who loved me unconditionally.  But my life apparently wasn’t ready for marriage at that age, and it didn’t happen for me.

I’ve talked to several women with MRKH over the years.  These are ladies that I have connected with on the yahoo! Group MRKHgrrls.  One of the girls became hypersexual after her diagnosis, and another didn’t really seem that it affected her life too much.  Another I recently interacted with is still a virgin in her mid twenties. 

One of the more insulting parts of our diagnosis is the chromosomal testing…are you XY or XX?  Well duh!  I am XX.  The more I have thought about that over the years, the more understanding I have become about the spectrum of sexuality.  Yes, there are women out there who just like men, but there are women who like women and women who like both…and that’s on a spectrum.  There is no “normal” as far as I am concerned.  Normal is what you feel in your heart, and that is something that should not be judged by anyone.  Love is an expression of yourself, and who you choose to express it with is your choice.  I feel that I am in the spectrum between men and women, tipped toward the men side, and staying there because I think its easier for me if I do.  Our condition is wrapped into the intersex community, and I am just beginning to wrap my head around that one. 

I know it’s possible for us MRKH girls to have sexual relations without telling the guy about our diagnosis, but I can’t emotionally do that.  I have a hard time not wanting the guy to know what kind of pain it took to get to the point to have this fun experience.  I am adamant that sex is not free.  I’m a bit of an idealist in that way I guess.