Monday, June 10

Thanks But No Thanks. That's What I Won't Do.

I'm in a strange place.

Men don't want to date me, they just want sex.

Is that because I don't meet their expectations for dating?  Do I look like a good lay?  Why can't I get a commitment (after all, they want a commitment for a sex only relationship)?  Is that what they want with a 30+ year old?  Am I used/damaged goods?

CASE A: Over a year ago, a guy that I met on Match.com and had a lot in common with announced on a phone call that he didn't want to date me.  He wasn't feeling it.  6 months later, we were at a happy hour and after that he told me basically that he would just like a physical relationship.  After that, he said that would not be fair to me (I don't know why he bothered to ponder how I may feel but he was right).  I thought about it, but really knew that I couldn't do it.  We didn't talk for another year after that.  He's pursuing me again, for yes, sex.  Now this is a strange turn of events that I really am not impressed with.

CASE B:  I met another guy when I was volunteering several years ago.  We have been in communication off and on for the past 5 years.  He contacted me after he broke up with his girlfriend and we went out a few times.  He started getting physical.  I wasn't into it and talked to him about what he wanted.  He didn't want a girlfriend, just sex.  I told him that I don't do that and I cut off all communication to him.  He contacted me again in the past month, to which I didn't respond.

CASE C:  This guy I actually had a sexual relationship with.  I knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere but I felt like it this time.  In talking to him recently, I think all he really wanted was the sex.

And on and on...

The line I dislike the most is "guys have certain needs......" What the hell?  I would say girls do too but we're not so animal about it all.

I'm sticking to my guns now and no purely sexual relationships.  It's not easy to have sex (dilation and all of the painful preparation) and I need it to be with someone that I am emotionally connected to.  I'm a woman with a conscience and a very caring person.  Sex is not free and I am a beautiful person willing to be with a super guy.

Have you encountered this much in your dating?




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