...flowers everywhere!
I'm feeling a bit lonely these days. I'm trying to work the law of attraction for a new relationship. It's the way I have gotten new jobs. Since I posted last time, I was promoted and now am doing work that I feel better suits my background. I'm super excited.
But I'm plagued I think sometimes...I look at the relationship side of life and I struggle. Professionally, I would say I've got my stuff together, but personally I could use some help.
I don't have many local girlfriends...none who are my age. I swear that most every girl I know who is my age does not want to hang out because they are in a relationship, married, or married with kids. It's a quandry because I miss that girl time. I have lots of girlfriends who live in other states, and I talk to many often, but they don't have the ability to meet me somewhere to do something girly.
I'm still working on the sexuality piece. I don't know when that is going to get easy. I just don't know how I would communicate with a guy what is truly in my head; from the insecurities to the obscure fantasy. It does make me feel alone, but I know deep down with the right person it will feel right and be easier.
Speaking of sex...I am also making a broad generalization that many men in their 30's are not looking for relationships, just FTF (friends that F@@@). I have had at least three of those in the last year. I don't project myself in that manner (I think you can get that from what I write) but I seem to bring those losers to me. I've paid a big emotional price for my sexuality, and I'm not giving it away.
I'm feeling a bit lonely these days. I'm trying to work the law of attraction for a new relationship. It's the way I have gotten new jobs. Since I posted last time, I was promoted and now am doing work that I feel better suits my background. I'm super excited.
But I'm plagued I think sometimes...I look at the relationship side of life and I struggle. Professionally, I would say I've got my stuff together, but personally I could use some help.
I don't have many local girlfriends...none who are my age. I swear that most every girl I know who is my age does not want to hang out because they are in a relationship, married, or married with kids. It's a quandry because I miss that girl time. I have lots of girlfriends who live in other states, and I talk to many often, but they don't have the ability to meet me somewhere to do something girly.
I'm still working on the sexuality piece. I don't know when that is going to get easy. I just don't know how I would communicate with a guy what is truly in my head; from the insecurities to the obscure fantasy. It does make me feel alone, but I know deep down with the right person it will feel right and be easier.
Speaking of sex...I am also making a broad generalization that many men in their 30's are not looking for relationships, just FTF (friends that F@@@). I have had at least three of those in the last year. I don't project myself in that manner (I think you can get that from what I write) but I seem to bring those losers to me. I've paid a big emotional price for my sexuality, and I'm not giving it away.
Hi
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog and reading thru it touched my heart. I am 32 and live in faraway India and have this condition too. I do understand the feelings you have about everything in life. Sometimes I cannot help but feel sad at being cheated out of having a normal life. Keep writing and my best wishes are with you.
Thank you. That's touching to me. I'm just trying to keep positive about it all but I fear in some ways I've let it drive my life in ways it never was supposed to. It's no fun--things that come so easy to others ie sex, are not easy. How do you cope?
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