Dating is an interesting topic because the topic of MRKH can make it so difficult when beginning your sexual journey.
The question comes, should I tell him?
If you're done with your treatment, the doctors say that a man should not be able to tell your vagina from someone who does not have MRKH.
But does having the condition effect you mentally?
Don't you want your lover to know what a journey you have been on and how lucky he is to be with you?
What do you do if the guy doesn't understand? I don't honestly think that most guys can even begin to comprehend the challenges we have mentally faced. We are warriors in plain clothes. Looking at other women, there is no way to tell who has MRKH and who doesn't.
So dating new guys I find a challenge. First, to explain the condition and that you can have sex, but depending on your situation, it may be more comfortable for some than others. There's also this difficult emotional component as well.
We cannot forget to mention the whole kid thing. I have had multiple men tell me while dating that they want their own biological kids. I knew at that point that there was no reason to go further in the relationship. It was over. Don't these guys understand that even if both of us have the equipment, there are reasonably good odds that one of us will make it hard/impossible to conceive? We MRKH women just found out the answer at a young age and early in the game.
I totally understand. My mom and I just had this conversation. It sucks...
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have mom there to support. It's so hard in the moment to not feel totally emotionally naked. There is a keeper out there if you want one. It can be so near impossible to find him though.
DeleteWhat about guys with small penises....I'm looking for a woman who would be happy with my size.
DeleteWhat I mean is, is there a site where we could find and date girls with mrkh...I don't mind if can't have kids...I just want intimacy and sex where we can both feel happy.
DeleteNot that I know of...small penises are awesome in my opinion. I can't handle the girth and I am sure that I am not alone in that. There are no sites that you can find us...we are a pretty hidden and private population. It's not uncommon to find also that we are attracted to the same sex too...
DeleteI am also a man with a small penis. My girth is like a roll of penny's.and my length is 3 inches. Could be a perfect fit. If interested email me at
Deletesupersells101a@gmail.com
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ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said Janelle about small penises... what do you mean its not uncommon for us to be attracted to the same sex too? Is that normal with people like us that have MRKH? And did anybody on here ever get surgery done... I'm 21 and I'm really considering for the main reason of sex... its so freaken painful but yet its sex need to say more? lol but no really what do you guys think about all this?
ReplyDeleteYes, that is my understanding of many women with MRKH. I feel like I could go either way but societally, it is most acceptable to like the opposite sex, so that is what I do. I think that for me where I am at in my sexuality, I choose. I guess it's kind of bisexual. I agree that intercourse can be painful and dilation is absolutely necessary to make it go. From my understanding, regular sex will make the vaginal opening wider and then sex should be less painful. At your age, I really questioned the meaning of sex, I still do. I even look at my breasts sometimes and think about how they serve little purpose--other than pleasure for sex and then that gets me thinking well what is sex for? pleasure? babies? both? I don't know. I'm still single and have been with a small handful of guys and am not finding the dating thing any easier as I get older. I've resigned to just being me and finding pleasure in other things in life.
DeleteSexuality is a spectrum in my mind. There are women who like men, women who like women, and everything in between (how many people fantasize about threesomes with both sexes and the same sexes? What does that mean?). Biology is not perfect and I don't agree with anyone who says you have to go one way or the other. We don't really control our genes. Its really quite common for people with MRKH to like women. I don't know if its the hormonal balance or if its the fact that they just don't want to make a vagina, or if the whole experience has traumatized them from men. Either way, yes, we do tend to like women...
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DeleteUser; a Boy-Tomgirl
DeleteI'm a guy, & i never fantasize about intercourse! When i 1st heard of MRKH i was curiously attracted. I suppose i never wanted the expectation of having to do the guy-function.
I still get very aroused mentally and physically, but I dont like the function of e Jack Eu Laition , and think the male is overly 'invasive' I wonder if there are many other guys like me!? Surely?
A couple years -on, i would still definitely date a MRKH lady. [eg;I Like the thought of girl on girl non-penetrative sex, so i suppose I too like to be included in this idea!]
I have quite a feminine mind, I dont look feminine [ unless I put my pigtails in lol ]
I have never wanted kids, but I imagine if I never had the choice-to, would always have felt that i'm missing the option!?
There would be plenty males out there whom are intimidated the thought of being the 'action provider' [ male having to erect- and share his parts to the satisfaction on both partners]– very few males would actually write about their short comings,,,,
Talking on genital variations; I, and plenty others, have had routine inf'nt c'cision, in my case performed by an old, old-school surgeon [ pheddofiles in disguise] where loads of erogenous nerve removal/ toughening occurred. I mention this, as this perhaps diverted instinctive intercourse desire, away from the norm.!?
[perhaps a great alternative]; Some like to 'dry hump' , (among plenty of other play) – clothes-on, or clothes-off, even the female can be the one doing the humping, it's not crude, it can be a very subtle action, barely visible yet felt intimately. The positions need not even be of the traditional ' sexual alignment'!, anywhere on the body/ person perhaps!
It would be rarely written – but some males may prefer – or love the idea, of a less purpose- built yoni, whom doesn suggest it need be fulfilled in the traditional way. As one gentleman here wrote that it'd suite his anatomy physically, (and importantly; mentally).
Maybe try to find someone who actually likes the way you are!? - Perhaps you need to advertise the MRKH fact up front -rather than worry about finding out the long way round if a prospective partner is going to be ok with it? I'm just thinking as a type.
Maybe someone could volunteer to make & run a simple free website for MRKH dating!? This site/software?looks user friendly!
I'm 21 and I'm really considering surgery just because sex is so painful but I also noticed overtime that its getting less and less painful so I don't know if I should just hold off and eventually it will not longer hurt. I don't know how that stuff works. Not to mention I'm quite conflicted with my sexuality on the one hand I'm straight, always have been, a couple of boyfriends in the past but on the other hand I wouldn't be against trying and dating another female and from what I've read in previous posts bisexual is quite normal for people with MRKH which I don't quite understand why that is because never thought of being bisexual as linked to me having MRKH... I don't know.
ReplyDeleteHI! My name is Alice and I want to preface this with the fact that I am a virgin, but I dilate so I know how it feels to have penetration. NOW that I have that out of the way I want you to know that I have had the surgery. Before the surgery dilating was painful and unbearable and yes, although it got better over time it still hurt and I began to thing it was just my pain tolerance changing not the actual feeling. After the surgery it is less uncomfortable, it doesn't hurt, and the length increased from 2cm to 10cm. Now in retrospect that is a tiny growth, but it made all the difference in my comfort. The surgery doesn't effect width so if it is the width that is uncomfortable I recommend dilation in addition to your sex life.
DeleteALSO! The lesbian/ bisexual tendancies may spur from the lack of the ability to have comfortable physical sex with men. That is my personal opinion.
DeleteI'm 28, i was diagnosed with MRKH at 14. My vagina was only 15mm wide, 25mm deep. i lost my virginity the same year i was diagnosed (his penis was pretty small) but as i got older, sex stopped hurting. I've slept with guys who very well hung (10 inches) and it didn't hurt.
DeleteDo you use dialators? If you don't, i would strongly suggest getting some. And you must use lube. Silicon is best.
And Lidocaine gel is also pretty handy.
And as for the bisexual thing, i personally haven't dated another women but i have slept with a lot of women. It's not just an MRKH thing, its women in general. us ladies are all beautiful, why wouldn't we find one another attractive?
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ReplyDeletemrkh girls who want to find a dating partner should make their own dating site online.
ReplyDeletelol - I'm sure it was me who wrote here under Anonymous a while back mentioning I would feel happy with a girl who didn't feel she had gotten the 'short' end of the stick because of my size - seems like my writing - gosh, my memory....anyway, I hope someone who is connected does it, cause I'm still looking.
Thx
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DeleteDude!! stop trolling on here like a desperate little freak!
DeleteJust because women are born with MRKH, doesn't mean they have no standards. If you think women, uterus or no uterus, are only interested in a mans cock size, you are an idiot.
My partner is a amazing, he is gorgeous, funny, thoughtful & that's why i am with him. Penis= irrelevant.
just so you know, i have dated an italian guy in the past. and you know what they say about Italian men ;)
I'm not sure what made you so upset Amanda, seeing as a lady with mrkh above seemed to sympathize with my search for love with intimacy that both are really happy with and said: "small penises are awesome in my opinion. I can't handle the girth and I am sure that I am not alone in that."
DeleteSo if an mrkh person has the right to hope for a small penis in addition of course first to a loving guy, can't a small penis have the right to hope for something likewise knowing that the person might actually think it's 'awesome'. Surely that's my right? Not sure what you mean by 'Italian men' but your comment makes you sound like you are not thinking clearly as it sounds like stereotyping (whether good or bad). Surely you can see that your Italian comment is as wrong as anything you might imagine is wrong in my post. Of course your 'penis=irrelevant' I will respect as your own view but then again you using the strong word 'irrelevant' might be insensitive to men who have through culture, music and film been taught to be ashamed of a small penis. That's like me saying: "I really don't know what all the fuss is with these mrkh girls - I found a lovely mrkh girl her vagina=irrelevant - she's so silly about it." This would demonstrate a grand and hideous lack of empathy and imagination - a terrible inability to at least consider another persons position since you are so happy yourself with your own relationship situation.
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