So maybe you can say that John and I were just a high school romance. When I started college I was 200 miles away from him. Perhaps, but it was still hard.
One of the most poignant times I had with John that flipped our relationship in my mind was February of my Freshman year in college. We were celebrating what I believe to be the worst day of the year, Valentines day. He had given me a faux diamond studded cross, which I didn't think fit us so well.
I don't recall anymore if this conversation was over the phone or in person, but I am thinking over the phone. The following dialog:
John: I know you can't have sex with me, and that's ok.
Me: (sighing in relief and also comfort in the understanding).
John: Since we can't have sex, do you want to have oral sex?
Had I been in the head I am now, I think I would have hung up on John. That basically was the end of our relationship.
It was so difficult for me because I was still dealing with the diagnosis and that was enough.
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